Grandma's Optimism

I was thinking of my Grandma the other day. It could be that many would not give my Grandma a second glance in a crowd. She was quiet and unassuming, and even though she wasn't any type of "powerhouse" person in the business and corporate world, she raised nine children through tough times---and she raised them well and in such a way that they are all still very close as siblings, and many of her 33 grandchildren are still in touch with each other and supportive in good times and bad. When we need to "circle the wagons" when bad things happen (I'm thinking now of the tragic death of my teenage nephew a few years ago), the cousins and spouses are right there with us (I remember being so grateful to have them close and chatting at Ben's viewing.)

Anyway . . . got off course there . . . .remembering Grandma's optimism . . . I was outside the other day, and since some of my bushes have grown these past few years, I decided that pruning shears were just not an efficient or a sufficient tool to use, so I discovered Scott's hedge trimmers (or what do you call them--I don't know--they're not electric; just two sizeable blades controlled by two handles) in the garage, and I thought, "Perfect!" So I started hacking away at those bushes. While I don't think anyone would hire me as a landscaper, the bushes looked much better than if I had snipped away with the pruning shears. (I won't include a photo, because they're not that pretty, but they'll grow out beautifully next spring.)

That's what caused me to remember Grandma and her cheerful and optimistic attitude. I remember one Saturday (she always had Saturday dinner for anyone who showed up, and there were usually more than 30 of us . . . we had to eat in shifts in her small ranch-style home each week) she was having the uncles trim her bushes out front of our house. She had one pine tree (or maybe it was a holly bush---I don't remember) in front of her bedroom window. When my uncles trimmed that bush, they REALLY hacked away at it! I remember a group of us looking at it once they had finished, and even though I was probably 12 or younger, I looked at that bush and thought, "Oh, that looks AWFUL!" (That part I DEFINITELY remember!) It was mostly branches, and hardly any greenery left. I was rather worried about how it looked, and one of my aunts (or maybe it was me?) said something to my Grandma about how much they had trimmed and how we weren't sure it looked all that great. But my Grandma just shrugged and smiled and said, "Oh! It'll grow out!" It did, too!

Things . . . Like a Walk in the Park

Moments in my life can sometimes be appropriately described by song lyrics! "Things . . . like a walk in the park" was stuck in my head this morning, because after I walked Anna down to a neighbor's house (car-pooling to summer musical instrument lessons), I decided that if I was going to take a walk today (which I want to do more regularly), then early this morning would be the best time to do so, with the heat wave on the East Coast. So I went for a walk in the park. Early morning is a great time to take a walk. The park was quiet, with only a few runners and walkers, no signs of life at the town pool, and just a few dump trucks traveling quietly (as quietly as dump trucks can travel) and slowly towards the football field, where they are preparing the surface for artificial turf.

I should get up earlier more often. I was able to chat with some neighbors this morning (one of the aspects of small-town life I greatly enjoy). But even between 8:00 and 8:30 a.m., the weather was hot and muggy, and I was dripping by the time I returned to the house! My body just has not yet adjusted to the heat and humidity.

We're looking forward to Abby's senior portraits tonight. I'm just praying about the weather, since we were hoping to get some outdoor shots, and thunderstorms (possibly severe) are expected to pass through any time between 4:00 and 9:00 p.m. We'll see.

Joel's project for this summer is to build a roller coaster in our back yard (the K'nex kind). It's pretty exciting, and the neighbor kids love to watch over the fence and ask questions. They said they can hardly wait until it's done!

Coming Back to Life . . . . .

[The photograph above was taken at "Family and Friend Day" at my uncle's place. I have one terrific family! My grandma left a legacy!)

Life in April was hectic and crazy, and then I was sidelined with a flu virus that brought exhaustion, and then once I was beginning to feel better and decided to get some exercise, I stepped in a pot-hole while I was out walking. I royally twisted my ankle. My schedule was too full to take the time to see a doctor, when I figured out myself that it was sprained but not broken, so I've been taking care of it on my own, with some great advice from my uncle, who tells me that this will take months to feel normal again (after 3-4 weeks, I'm realizing that he's certainly right about that!). I don't have any major projects at work right now, and my husband declined to run for Council President (for our church---and I work in the church office---sometimes it felt like our life revolved around the church, and that wasn't not what we wanted for our lives . . . our relationship with God is important, but we need to be intentional about being good parents have having some family time, also) for another year, so that in itself has relieved quite a bit of pressure on us!

Other aspects of life keep us busy. The school year is almost done, but Abby is already gearing up for her senior year. We recently scheduled her senior portraits to be taken. I found a great photographer, and I am eager for the photo shoot and then to see the products. She's also planning a trip with a friend to Colorado. That should be an exciting experience for her!

We haven't been all that proactive about Abby's allergies, but after eight months with no follow-up after blood tests for a chicken allergy (with the current allergist, who seems rather too laid back for life-threatening food allergies), I made a phone call yesterday, and we're changing allergists. I'll have to call periodically to see if we can get her in sooner than September.

Now that I'm in the mood and have a little bit of time and energy and resolve to write again, I'll have to once again start taking more pictures (my son needs his own camera! He's constantly borrowing mine!).

More random thoughts . . . . once I feel well rested again (I'm catching up on that now), I'll organize my thoughts a bit better. I was thinking the other day . . . . analyzing personalities of myself and my kids, and thinking about how people (including myself) easily jump to conclusions about people based on their initial meeting, when some people take more time to get to know. If I organize my thoughts on that subject, maybe I'll write about it here. We'll see.

Getting Through April . . . .

April has been an extremely busy month, and some days it seems like we're getting ready for some event only to start planning for our responsibilities for the next event as soon as the previous event is done! I've had a lot of thoughts lately (when don't I? I am constantly churning out thoughts . . . .sometimes I don't always like that, but that's the way I was made). But my main thought is that tomorrow, I really need to clean my house. I know I won't get it all done tomorrow (my house did not get dirty/messy all in one day, and I can't expect it to get clean in just one day), but at least I can make a dent.

Also, gotta LOVE winter clearance sales! I was out at the mall last week, and found that Sears was having some major sales on their Lands End line of clothing (winter clothing). I was able to purchase two pair of pants for $7.00 each (they were originally about $34-40), and a nice, thick winter sweater for $7.00 (it was originally a $60.00 sweater). We've had such beautiful weather, but yesterday I was glad a cold front moved in, because it gave me a chance to wear my new clothes!

Our weeks have been so busy that we've tried to be intentional about having some quiet weekends (at least for Scott and I . . . Abby and Joel have been gallivanting about to concerts and such). That will change in the month of May. We have several weekends where we have about five different places we COULD be each day. I'm past the point of feeling guilty when I can only choose one or two per day and have to say 'no' to all of the other events. Sometimes life is just too busy, and quiet times at home are a respite. I personally need the "down time" in order to be energized for everything else that's on the schedule.

Just some random thoughts on a rainy afternoon . . . .

Ah!!!!!!! Spring and warm weather! (and life is still crazy!)

I've noticed a trend with the few blogs which I try to regularly read . . . everyone has been busy and hasn't posted much lately (including me!). I'm still busy--just procrastinating for a few minutes before I get back to finishing the PowerPoint for tomorrow's worship services. Big decision coming up with our congregational meeting tomorrow. I've been praying fervently. I know others have been praying, because I haven't felt nervous or uneasy or stressed about the decision---just generally wondering what tomorrow will bring and how I will feel about continuing in that congregation if the vote goes against what I feel is exemplifying the love of Christ and reaching out to children and young families. We'll see. Scott's also been working a lot, with the events at the college coming up tomorrow. He'll just be glad when tomorrow is over.

I had a huge mental list of everything that I should be doing today. Typing up the six-page "questions and answers" for the congregational meeting tomorrow took longer than expected. I called the kids from the church and suggested they meet me halfway at Jo-Jo's Pizza in town. (I love working four blocks away from the house, and walking when the weather is so great!) That's where we ate lunch. That took longer than expected, too. (Abby said she likes a relaxed meal, and didn't think I should complain, but I was just thinking of everything I still had to do today). The weather was so beautiful that I took some time away from the computer and inside the house in order to clean out the narrow flowerbed between the garage and the sidewalk. It was GREAT to be outside in the warmth and soak up some Vitamin D from the sun!

I still need to get some laundry done. I should have cleaned some of the house today, but that may have to wait until Monday evening or Tuesday. Still need to get some tax forms in envelopes and mail them. I HAVE to do that before Monday! Still need to put clean sheets on our bed. That has to be done tonight.

Life goes on . . . e-mails will eventually get answered, laundry will eventually get done. The rest of the outside work will eventually get done. This craziness, too, will pass (won't it?)

Sometimes our tasks in life dictate what life will be about . . . .

Maybe that title doesn't make the most sense. What I'm trying to say is that for the past few weeks, life itself has seemingly been dictated by many of our responsibilities. I work at a church. Last week, the church had three services . . . with a bulletin for each service. Our taxes need completed. I should have completed them sooner, but they kept getting pushed to the back burner. My goal was then to get them in the mail by the end of March. I'll take them (ours and Abby's) to the post office tomorrow. Then I need to compile the yearly report for the church. That has to be done and ready for distribution by Sunday morning. That, too, has been on the back burner. It will get done. And on time, but there's much work to be done in the meantime. Scott has been busy with church stuff and work stuff. Enough to be overwhelming. By April 13th, much of the present burden will be over with (and onto the next pressure/issue)!

Abby is working hard to get her graduation project completed. She's been staying near the house as much as possible and at the computer. Joel is on the track team, which keeps him busy, but already he's improving his personal record for the 2-mile race, and he's happy about that. Anna keeps plugging away at homework. She's growing up so fast! She's hardly a little girl any more.

Because of life right now, everything else gets put on the back burner . . . blogs, laundry, cleaning, cooking, etc. Just getting the bare necessities done. We did take a break over the past weekend to color some eggs and visit with extended family. We're currently having some problems with our camera "talking to" the computer (it isn't), and the Kodak software support person thinks it might be the cable. That would be an easy fix. Maybe I can go out tonight and get a new cable and try that. Then I can share some more pictures.

I need to stop procrastinating now, and finish this blog entry, and start working on that annual report. Once it's done, I can then get the house straightened up and cleaned, and feel good about life again!

"His strength is perfect when our strength is gone."

Room Renovation, continued

The room is almost done! A cozy little space, adding two more (with a possibility of a third) seating areas in our small home. The painting is done, the rug is down, the furniture is placed. Still need to hang the drape/scarf over the window, and hang the quilts on the long wall, hang the kids' school pictures on the wall, and find one or two more items to decorate the walls. Now that this room is freshly painted, the two adjacent rooms REALLY look like they need refreshed, too!

Back to the Room Renovation, . . . .

Scott has a week of vacation (take it or lose it, so he's taking it!) this week, and he's focusing on this room renovation project. A previous owner somewhere along the way decided to lower and square off an archway, and I've been wanting that taken out for the past ten years or so! the plaster had cracked all around the seam, and a metal corner/edge piece had fallen long ago. Scott has been afraid of what we might find underneath. But yesterday he decided to drill a few holes, use a flashlight, and explore. After "exploring," he thought for a little while, and finally decided to "just do it." So he got his little jigsaw out, began cutting some nails, and used his hammer and crowbar for help along the way. As he began, he said, "I just hope the house doesn't fall down once I take this out!" We still have no clue as to why someone would ever want to lower the arch and square it off. Opening up that arch has visually opened up the two rooms. I am very much looking forward to completing the renovation of this room (and then we'll need to start on the living room . . . taking down that little addition marred the adjacent living room walls in some areas).

Thanks for Your Prayers . . . .

First of all, for those who read my previous post and have been praying, THANK YOU!!! They certainly are making a difference. On Sunday morning, I met with people in my small group which is part of the larger group, and I was met with hope and enthusiasm. (They thought that Saturday's meeting was GREAT! I told them I came home in tears!) That enveloping attitude from my friends, plus a day away from the object of many of my stresses has really helped to heal a lot of the unsettledness. As in any group, I know that feelings and sentiments can change, so I know that all is not "fixed," but my soul is more at rest with everything. One friend later told me that she sensed a whole new attitude (a good and hopeful one) in the larger group on Sunday. We'll see what the annual meeting brings in April. It might help if Scott is able to step away from his current position in leadership, which he is hoping to do with the re-organization of the council. With him being in his position, and with my job being what it is, we tend to shoulder a lot, and we get many phone calls at home which means we are wearing our "hats" constantly, even in our home. Sometimes the only "rest" I feel that we get is when we head to Maryland. We actually decided that we need to schedule another Saturday Maryland trip. We all need that! As you think of us, we would appreciate your continued prayers.

Lord, I don't know where all this is goin' . . . .

or how it all works out
Lead me to peace that passes understanding
Peace beyond all doubt (Newsboys--Adoration CD)

Ever been part of a group and get to a point where every meeting leaves you unsettled and restless and you ask yourself, "why am I part of this group, anyway?" We're there because every time in the past twenty+ years we've asked God that question, He's said, "You need to stay." (And even lately, when I ask that, He allows other people to point out different things that remind me of why we stay--even as lately as two weeks ago.) There are reasons to stay now, but I keep praying, because I am not at peace. It's either going to get better (people's attitudes will need to change) or else our family will be in for a change from this group that's supposed to be our support system (although I do realize that it may get a bit worse before it gets better if God tells us once again to stay). But I also rely on Scott's judgment. I thought today's meeting would ease this unsettled feeling in my soul, but I just came away more frustrated and unsettled. I just keep praying and praying for God's direction and timing. If any of those who read this want to help in some way, please pray!

Renovating an old room . . .

Well, it was time for a new phase in life. Time to move most of the toys (the ones that are left, anyway) to the basement, since Anna is starting to get in the "in between" stage---between a kid who likes to play with toys and a young lady who is more interested in books and music and movies. So it's time to renovate the "middle room" as we call it. So after the Christmas tree was put away, we moved all of the little stuff out, and started clearing the walls of the multiple layers of paint over the original wallpaper from 1939. Praise the Lord for good and dear friends. My friend Denise came up one day with her young daughter Teressa, and we worked on spraying the walls and scraping the paint and wallpaper. These old walls are in pretty bad shape. Lots and lots of cracks, and places where previous owners have patched (with not much finesse!). Scott has also been working to strip the paint off of the beautiful woodwork around the room. It's beautiful underneath, and we are excited that it's in decent enough shape that we can stain it instead of repainting it! Someday (year) we'll get carpet put down. For now, I bought an area rug from Overstock.com. The old wood floors need help, but they'll do for now.

One of the kids or Scott took a picture of this patch of sorts up on the wall. This looks pretty bad, although it was taken before we scrubbed down the walls, so already the walls look better than this picture. I'll try to post different pictures along the way . . . maybe I'll get one of Scott working on the rest of the woodwork. Its a LONG slow process, and I am reminded of what I used to say when we moved into this house . . . every project seems to take so much longer and so much more money than we originally anticipated. It's an adventure! (Although we're thinking now that brand new homes sure have an appeal! If we ever decide to move once the kids are out of school---we love living so close to the high school and we don't want to move from here right now!--I think we'll look into a brand new house if it's in our budget!)

I have plans for this room! Anna and I already found an ottoman in Marshalls that we loved, so we bought that and are using it in the living room for now. I have two chairs in mind that I plan to purchase, but we don't have room for them at the moment, so I'm waiting until we have the walls done (it will take awhile, but patience is a virtue!). We're looking forward to a "new room."

Before Christmas, I was thinking that we would do this middle room and move right on to the living room (which is connected to the "middle room" with a big archway in between). When it took so long to get all the wallpaper off that little middle room, I began thinking that maybe the living room should wait until next year (2009) after Christmas 2008! It needs the same work (original wallpaper & multiple layers of paint stripped, cracked walls spackled and repaired, and woodwork stripped of paint and original finish so that we can restain it). And it's a bigger room than the middle room! Maybe we should only tackle that in the winter/spring of 2009 if we think we can finish it before Abby graduates from high school next June.

Pictures from the Science Fair

Joel entered the school science fair last Saturday. Tied for second place, so he moves on the Regional competition. We're realistic in knowing that he probably won't get anywhere near the major prizes there . . . the winners in the last few years have projects that will change people's lives (a whole lot of people), and Joel's roller coaster projects won't necessarily change people's lives (not on a large scale, anyway!). But last year, he got a monetary award from an auxilliary group who wanted to encourage young engineering students. So we'll see.

We sent the camera with Abby and Anna when they took Joel over to the college to set up everything. They took some interesting pictures (although I had asked that they get some pictures of themselves/each other, too, which they did not!). I like this picture of Joel and his friend, Austin---it makes me smile. The girls took this from the second level of the Jordan Science Building (at Messiah College). It's a beautiful building with an impressive entry/atrium. That's where the science fair was held (the science teacher in charge of the school science fair is an alumni, so he has connections!). I also like this picture of Joel, Austin, and their friend Nate, even though it's a picture of their backs! They all look pretty spiffy, heading to into the Student Union for a round of pool! It's becoming a tradition for "down time" at the school science fair!

Thoughts on Wegmans (again!)

Well, I had previously posted about Wegmans, and I won't retract all that I said---I still can't see myself coming out of there with a cart full of groceries. I prefer to shop for most of my groceries elsewhere. BUT, I was searching for the phone number for the pharmacy at our local Wegmans store, and when I googled "Wegmans," I saw that my blog came up as one of the top searches. I want to make sure I give Wegman's a "fair shake" in case people google them and find my blog! I have to say that their photo processing area has become my favorite place to get prints of my digital photos. I LOVE their area there. They have some of the fastest computers (for photo processing) in the area, and a new and different and FAST and efficient way of editing all my photographs (I usually wait until I need to clean off my memory card, so then I need to edit and process sometimes over 200 photographs!)---and they have chairs to sit on during the processing! Another good thing about Wegmans: Their food is BEAUTIFUL in their marketplace area! (even if you don't buy any!) A feast for the eyes! Some of their prices are very competitive, so it is possible to get some decent bargains there. Also, as noted on Anna's JRA blog, they are able to order in injectable Methotrexate (when my usual pharmacy in a competing grocery store didn't even try to see if they could order it). Another good aspect . . . if you want some Asian food, but don't want or need a whole lot, they have an Asian bar/buffet, where you can take as much or as little as you want to (and eat in their lovely cafe area!)

Hope for Eye Cancer . . . clarifying some of the details

It was so nice to receive an e-mail or two from Melanie Gilbert, thanking me for including my mom's story in my blog. She was so helpful in giving me some clarification on some details which have become fuzzy in my mind (and my mom lives an hour away from me, so she wasn't here as I was typing, so I had no one to remind me of some names). My mom's surgery for her ocular melanoma was performed by Dr. Jerry or Dr. Carol Shields (I can't remember which one was my mom's surgeon). I just know that both Dr. Shields are some of the foremost experts in their field, having written books and articles galore! The name of the Eye Institute is the Wills Eye Institute, in Philadelphia. I went to visit my mom there while she was being treated. It's not too difficult to find (even though I took a wrong turn at one point and ended up crossing the bridge to New Jersey before turning around!). Melanie also gave me some two links to share. If people are looking for stories of hope for eye cancer, or uveal melanoma, or ocular melanoma stories and information, try www.seeacure.com, or http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/ChoroidalMelanoma/ .

Some of you may also have noticed the comment on my last blog by a another eye cancer survivor named Lynne. I will start a new list of links on the left side of this blog, for anyone looking for hope after eye cancer diagnosis. Please feel free to comment or e-mail! I can't always promise that I will reply immediately, but I do so very much appreciate the feedback!

Hope for Ocular Malignant Melanoma Diagnosis

Several years ago, my mom went for a regular eye checkup. She needed new glasses. Upon examination, her eye doctor said he saw what appeared to be a "freckle" on her retina, and advised that she make an appointment with a retina specialist in town. The retina specialist gave a thorough exam, and immediately referred her to the best eye specialists in the country (at the Philadelphia Eye Institute), because he said she had malignant ocular melanoma. Well, any diagnosis using the words "malignant" and "melanoma" is scary to say the least! Never having heard of such a diagnosis, I immediately set out to research this on the Internet. Every website I found (personal and professional) offered very dire information. The majority of personal websites (this was before blogging became popular) were basically websites in memory of a loved one who had died after a short journey with ocular melanoma. I told Mom, "Don't research this on the Internet until you talk to the specialists!"

Very long story made short: Mom received treatment for the melanoma. The specialists placed a tiny piece of radioactive plaque right onto the tumor itself for a short period of time. Although a recuperation period was inevitable, Mom did very well. Her tumor shrunk (and has continued to shrink . . . the specialists say this is excellent---they didn't want the tumor to shrink too quickly or too slowly). She has continued to travel to Philadelphia for a regular check up. Her latest checkup was Wednesday, and everything continues to look fine! (several years later).

The retina specialist and the specialists in Philadelphia told Mom that every detail was so "lucky." (We're people of faith, and we prefer to see it as God's plan for this situation--I don't believe in "luck.") Many people do not get a diagnosis until the melanoma has advanced far worse than Mom's little "freckle" on the retina. We were "lucky" that Mom went in for a regular eye exam when she did. We were "lucky" that the retina specialist was well acquainted with the experts at the Philadelphia Eye Institute, who had written books and are still on the cutting edge of treating ocular melanoma. We were "lucky" that my parents live within three hours of Philadelphia and not across the country.

As an extended family, we were sitting around the dinner table weeks ago, and talking about Mom's ocular melanoma, and I was telling everyone about the Internet research that offered no hope at all. I was saying "Someone needs to put information out there that offers hope---telling stories of people who have survived and thrived after such a diagnosis. The general consensus at the table was that maybe I should do that! While I don't really have enough time or information to do a blog or website entirely about hope after a diagnosis of malignant ocular melanoma, I can at least tell the short version of the story in this blog, and hope that interested people will be able to find it. There is HOPE! Ocular melanoma is not necessarily a death sentence.

Happy New Year!

First blog post of 2008! I finally feel rested up after an exhausting month of December! So many things going on, and almost too many things for which I was responsible. There were times right before Christmas when I thought I should probably get some sleep, but I had too much adrenaline, and couldn't rest. Christmas was different this year, since Mom ended up going to the local emergency room for some intestinal problems. At least she didn't need surgery, as some of us were thinking she might, and she's much better now! Tracey and Donna and I (along with help from hubbies and kids) were able to get Christmas dinner together and on the table, and we tried to be good hosts to the various relatives who came by. Mom said later that she was feeling so badly that she actually didn't even worry about any of the details taking place (she left for the ER after Christmas Dinner was over), or whether we got everything accomplished. She said later that we did a fine job, but we told her we didn't want to do TOO good of a job without her!

I need to change some things next year (although right now I don't know quite what!). I just didn't feel in the right spirit for Christmas, and I wasn't in the right mood to truly celebrate Jesus--the Reason for the Season. Realizing and acknowledging that fact is the first step towards making some changes.

One good thing I was able to do this Christmas break was to convince some adults to create a Facebook page! I had set up an account several months ago, and at the time, I really wasn't sure what I was going to do with it. But Abby opened an account (I decided to get more involved so that we could learn the ropes together!), and as I developed my page and added more stuff, and explored some pages of people (and some applications that can be added), I realized that Facebook needs more adults, and more of a Christian presence. As my sister-in-law says---it provides accountability for our young teens and adults, knowing that their parents/aunts/uncles are also on-line. I like the networking aspect, and the fact that I can be in touch with nephews and nieces and let them know I'm thinking about them, and being a little more involved in their lives, even though we live a distance away. It's also been fun to connect with some college friends from the past.

Enough "chatting" here for tonight . . . I need to finish this and start my chat letter to family and friends. I skipped last week (I was on vacation!), but I need to get back into routine this week!