Great Quote on Marriage . . . .

I've been thinking about marriage lately, mainly because our small group at church is studying a chapter in our study book about us being the "Bride of Christ" (and so we have to dig in to figure out what exactly that means) . . . partly because my kids are getting older and I want them to have a good and right perspective on marriage (and opposed to what I perceive as society's very casual and often negative attitude towards the institution) and in a very small part because of just a snippet of conversation on my brother-in-law's Facebook status and subsequent comments. And then, today, after following some links from a "Tweet" I received, I came across this quote from "Plugged In Online." (Abby will like that I read this.) Sometimes you read what people write and think, I TOTALLY agree with that. How TRUE that is. So here, from Reviewer Paul Asay (on his review of "When In Rome"--found at http://www.pluggedin.com/movies/intheaters/wheninrome.aspx ):

I'll rebut Pops' perspective with this: Marriage is about so much more than passion, more than risk—more than a lottery ticket where the winners get fairy-tale endings and losers find divorce attorneys. Marriage is about commitment—commitment that holds firm through the fickle vagaries of human emotion. Yes, there's risk involved in it, but marriage should never be analogous to rolling the dice in a game of chance. Rather, it's like building a house: You check the foundation, you build the angles square, you make sure the place will last a lifetime.

:o)

A Variety of Thoughts . . .

It's been over a year since I've posted here! Our family has gone through many changes--mainly the graduation of our oldest child, Abby. The day after graduation, we left for a few days of vacation, visiting with some long-time friends. Then once we arrived home, Abby moved out! It was a week of whirlwind changes, but I think we all adjusted well. Abby moved out because her job at the local college included room and board. She loved staying there and working there for the summer, and now she loves being a college student. She has also entered a dating relationship with her long-time friend David, but if you want to read about that, you'll have to read their blogs. It's their story to tell (it's a good and interesting one!), and I'll stay out of it unless I'm asked my opinion!

Joel is in his junior year of high school, and he's very, very busy! Anna loves her first year of middle school. She's just about as tall as I am, and her feet are bigger than mine!

My latest thoughts (ones which I want to post, anyway---not all my thoughts are postable to the public in my opinion) are not necessarily deep ones:

1) I think I know why people don't use wallpaper as much as they used to. It's a PAIN to take off when you decide you want a different look for the room. I'm currently redoing my kitchen, and just taking off the wallpaper border and subsequently getting all of the glue off was tedious and time consuming. I also want to redo my living room this coming year, but I will need to take off all of the original (1939) wallpaper which has been painted over for seven decades. It seems like an overwhelming job. But if I get the kitchen finished (paint the ceiling, walls, AND cupboards), maybe my sense of accomplishment will help spur me on to the next project . . . but do I want to tackle the dining room walls, first? There is no wallpaper underneath those walls--just underneath the ceiling in that room.

2) Does it mean a person is getting "old" if when you go to your family doctor for a regular physical, he asks if you have a living will? Guess hubby and I are there, because he said he got the same question a few months ago. I told the doctor that I've already told the family I don't want to be a vegetable . . . "Pull the plug." My doctor smiled and said, "That's very good, but we need to have that documented in your file."

That's it for now . . . need to get off the computer and get some things done.

What Can I Learn? . . . . Thoughts about family, friends, personalities, and character traits

Somedays I can be very introspective, and sometimes I can spend a year or two observing people (I love to watch people and learn from them!) and pick up little bits of wisdom in my observations. As my children age and mature and continue to develop and hone their personalities and character traits, I find myself seeing bits of myself and bits of Scott in them (those personality and character traits). And I can see bits of my both of my parents (personality and character traits) in myself. I think it goes beyond that, as well. Coming from a close-knit extended family, and spending time with aunts and uncles, I even see bits of them in myself (both sides of my family).

I watch my extended family and see how extraordinarily functional they are as a family unit (not that they're perfect people, but it's difficult to find functional family units these days!). So I've been thinking these past years and observing . . . what makes them functional? What causes them to laugh at life and be mostly cheerful and hopeful? A big part of that is our faith, I know. But there are other aspects which I've observed and hope to learn from. Sometimes I wish I had learned these things earlier in life.

One bit of wisdom I perceived a few years ago and continue to remember is that in our functional, extended family, as a rule, the most hopeful and emotionally healthy people don't wallow in their misery. Sure, there are some serious issues going on, and sure, we are not in denial about those things. But when everyone is together, the majority of conversation focuses on the hopeful things of life. The serious issues are discussed, but they are not the main focus. As a rule, there's not much complaining going on. Just an acceptance of life as it comes (the good as well as the bad), yet always thinking and keeping ears and eyes open for opportunities which arise.

Our family isn't necessarily wealthy or powerful by society's standards. Yet they have passed along to the younger generations a legacy of faith, loyalty, and the importance of a strong family unit as a support system. I'm praying that I will continue to pass along those elements to my children by being an example to them of the same. I'm also hoping that they will show me some grace (as my family has during my growing and maturing decades), knowing that I'm not perfect (they already know that, they assured me once).

I also want to broaden my scope as far as learning from people. I continue to watch and analyze what makes my family work, but I'm also working in a different area at trying to accept others for who they are, even when I'm not in my comfort zone. I was thinking just yesterday that with every encounter with people, I should be asking myself, "What can I learn from this person?" Try to find the good and positive character traits of each person I come into contact with (instead of focusing on how different they may be from me). Maybe that can be a goal for the coming year (among many other goals on my mental list!).

Grandma's Optimism

I was thinking of my Grandma the other day. It could be that many would not give my Grandma a second glance in a crowd. She was quiet and unassuming, and even though she wasn't any type of "powerhouse" person in the business and corporate world, she raised nine children through tough times---and she raised them well and in such a way that they are all still very close as siblings, and many of her 33 grandchildren are still in touch with each other and supportive in good times and bad. When we need to "circle the wagons" when bad things happen (I'm thinking now of the tragic death of my teenage nephew a few years ago), the cousins and spouses are right there with us (I remember being so grateful to have them close and chatting at Ben's viewing.)

Anyway . . . got off course there . . . .remembering Grandma's optimism . . . I was outside the other day, and since some of my bushes have grown these past few years, I decided that pruning shears were just not an efficient or a sufficient tool to use, so I discovered Scott's hedge trimmers (or what do you call them--I don't know--they're not electric; just two sizeable blades controlled by two handles) in the garage, and I thought, "Perfect!" So I started hacking away at those bushes. While I don't think anyone would hire me as a landscaper, the bushes looked much better than if I had snipped away with the pruning shears. (I won't include a photo, because they're not that pretty, but they'll grow out beautifully next spring.)

That's what caused me to remember Grandma and her cheerful and optimistic attitude. I remember one Saturday (she always had Saturday dinner for anyone who showed up, and there were usually more than 30 of us . . . we had to eat in shifts in her small ranch-style home each week) she was having the uncles trim her bushes out front of our house. She had one pine tree (or maybe it was a holly bush---I don't remember) in front of her bedroom window. When my uncles trimmed that bush, they REALLY hacked away at it! I remember a group of us looking at it once they had finished, and even though I was probably 12 or younger, I looked at that bush and thought, "Oh, that looks AWFUL!" (That part I DEFINITELY remember!) It was mostly branches, and hardly any greenery left. I was rather worried about how it looked, and one of my aunts (or maybe it was me?) said something to my Grandma about how much they had trimmed and how we weren't sure it looked all that great. But my Grandma just shrugged and smiled and said, "Oh! It'll grow out!" It did, too!

Things . . . Like a Walk in the Park

Moments in my life can sometimes be appropriately described by song lyrics! "Things . . . like a walk in the park" was stuck in my head this morning, because after I walked Anna down to a neighbor's house (car-pooling to summer musical instrument lessons), I decided that if I was going to take a walk today (which I want to do more regularly), then early this morning would be the best time to do so, with the heat wave on the East Coast. So I went for a walk in the park. Early morning is a great time to take a walk. The park was quiet, with only a few runners and walkers, no signs of life at the town pool, and just a few dump trucks traveling quietly (as quietly as dump trucks can travel) and slowly towards the football field, where they are preparing the surface for artificial turf.

I should get up earlier more often. I was able to chat with some neighbors this morning (one of the aspects of small-town life I greatly enjoy). But even between 8:00 and 8:30 a.m., the weather was hot and muggy, and I was dripping by the time I returned to the house! My body just has not yet adjusted to the heat and humidity.

We're looking forward to Abby's senior portraits tonight. I'm just praying about the weather, since we were hoping to get some outdoor shots, and thunderstorms (possibly severe) are expected to pass through any time between 4:00 and 9:00 p.m. We'll see.

Joel's project for this summer is to build a roller coaster in our back yard (the K'nex kind). It's pretty exciting, and the neighbor kids love to watch over the fence and ask questions. They said they can hardly wait until it's done!

Coming Back to Life . . . . .

[The photograph above was taken at "Family and Friend Day" at my uncle's place. I have one terrific family! My grandma left a legacy!)

Life in April was hectic and crazy, and then I was sidelined with a flu virus that brought exhaustion, and then once I was beginning to feel better and decided to get some exercise, I stepped in a pot-hole while I was out walking. I royally twisted my ankle. My schedule was too full to take the time to see a doctor, when I figured out myself that it was sprained but not broken, so I've been taking care of it on my own, with some great advice from my uncle, who tells me that this will take months to feel normal again (after 3-4 weeks, I'm realizing that he's certainly right about that!). I don't have any major projects at work right now, and my husband declined to run for Council President (for our church---and I work in the church office---sometimes it felt like our life revolved around the church, and that wasn't not what we wanted for our lives . . . our relationship with God is important, but we need to be intentional about being good parents have having some family time, also) for another year, so that in itself has relieved quite a bit of pressure on us!

Other aspects of life keep us busy. The school year is almost done, but Abby is already gearing up for her senior year. We recently scheduled her senior portraits to be taken. I found a great photographer, and I am eager for the photo shoot and then to see the products. She's also planning a trip with a friend to Colorado. That should be an exciting experience for her!

We haven't been all that proactive about Abby's allergies, but after eight months with no follow-up after blood tests for a chicken allergy (with the current allergist, who seems rather too laid back for life-threatening food allergies), I made a phone call yesterday, and we're changing allergists. I'll have to call periodically to see if we can get her in sooner than September.

Now that I'm in the mood and have a little bit of time and energy and resolve to write again, I'll have to once again start taking more pictures (my son needs his own camera! He's constantly borrowing mine!).

More random thoughts . . . . once I feel well rested again (I'm catching up on that now), I'll organize my thoughts a bit better. I was thinking the other day . . . . analyzing personalities of myself and my kids, and thinking about how people (including myself) easily jump to conclusions about people based on their initial meeting, when some people take more time to get to know. If I organize my thoughts on that subject, maybe I'll write about it here. We'll see.

Getting Through April . . . .

April has been an extremely busy month, and some days it seems like we're getting ready for some event only to start planning for our responsibilities for the next event as soon as the previous event is done! I've had a lot of thoughts lately (when don't I? I am constantly churning out thoughts . . . .sometimes I don't always like that, but that's the way I was made). But my main thought is that tomorrow, I really need to clean my house. I know I won't get it all done tomorrow (my house did not get dirty/messy all in one day, and I can't expect it to get clean in just one day), but at least I can make a dent.

Also, gotta LOVE winter clearance sales! I was out at the mall last week, and found that Sears was having some major sales on their Lands End line of clothing (winter clothing). I was able to purchase two pair of pants for $7.00 each (they were originally about $34-40), and a nice, thick winter sweater for $7.00 (it was originally a $60.00 sweater). We've had such beautiful weather, but yesterday I was glad a cold front moved in, because it gave me a chance to wear my new clothes!

Our weeks have been so busy that we've tried to be intentional about having some quiet weekends (at least for Scott and I . . . Abby and Joel have been gallivanting about to concerts and such). That will change in the month of May. We have several weekends where we have about five different places we COULD be each day. I'm past the point of feeling guilty when I can only choose one or two per day and have to say 'no' to all of the other events. Sometimes life is just too busy, and quiet times at home are a respite. I personally need the "down time" in order to be energized for everything else that's on the schedule.

Just some random thoughts on a rainy afternoon . . . .