Somedays I can be very introspective, and sometimes I can spend a year or two observing people (I love to watch people and learn from them!) and pick up little bits of wisdom in my observations. As my children age and mature and continue to develop and hone their personalities and character traits, I find myself seeing bits of myself and bits of Scott in them (those personality and character traits). And I can see bits of my both of my parents (personality and character traits) in myself. I think it goes beyond that, as well. Coming from a close-knit extended family, and spending time with aunts and uncles, I even see bits of them in myself (both sides of my family).
I watch my extended family and see how extraordinarily functional they are as a family unit (not that they're perfect people, but it's difficult to find functional family units these days!). So I've been thinking these past years and observing . . . what makes them functional? What causes them to laugh at life and be mostly cheerful and hopeful? A big part of that is our faith, I know. But there are other aspects which I've observed and hope to learn from. Sometimes I wish I had learned these things earlier in life.
One bit of wisdom I perceived a few years ago and continue to remember is that in our functional, extended family, as a rule, the most hopeful and emotionally healthy people don't wallow in their misery. Sure, there are some serious issues going on, and sure, we are not in denial about those things. But when everyone is together, the majority of conversation focuses on the hopeful things of life. The serious issues are discussed, but they are not the main focus. As a rule, there's not much complaining going on. Just an acceptance of life as it comes (the good as well as the bad), yet always thinking and keeping ears and eyes open for opportunities which arise.
Our family isn't necessarily wealthy or powerful by society's standards. Yet they have passed along to the younger generations a legacy of faith, loyalty, and the importance of a strong family unit as a support system. I'm praying that I will continue to pass along those elements to my children by being an example to them of the same. I'm also hoping that they will show me some grace (as my family has during my growing and maturing decades), knowing that I'm not perfect (they already know that, they assured me once).
I also want to broaden my scope as far as learning from people. I continue to watch and analyze what makes my family work, but I'm also working in a different area at trying to accept others for who they are, even when I'm not in my comfort zone. I was thinking just yesterday that with every encounter with people, I should be asking myself, "What can I learn from this person?" Try to find the good and positive character traits of each person I come into contact with (instead of focusing on how different they may be from me). Maybe that can be a goal for the coming year (among many other goals on my mental list!).
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